2016 books

Books Read 2016 (Goal: 50) : 50
Meat: 24
Candy: 26
If You're An Egalitarian, How Come You're So Rich?--G.A. Cohen
Anarchy, State, and Utopia--Robert Nozick
Plato's Bedroom: Ancient Wisdom, Modern Love--Dave k. O'Connor
Captive Prince--C.S. Pacat
The Goblin Emperor--Katherine Addison
The Reluctant Fundamentalist--Mohsin Hamid
A Midsummer Night's Dream--William Shakespeare
The Song of Achilles--Madeline Miller
After Virtue--Alisdair Macintyre
Healing the Adult Child's Grieving Heart: 100 practical ideas after your parent dies--Alan D. Wolfelt
Pride and Prejudice--Jane Austen
As You Like It--William Shakespeare
Finding Oneself In the Other--G.A. Cohen
Dependent Rational Animals--Alisdair MacIntyre
Prince's Gambit--C.S. Pacat
The Black Jewels Trilogy--Anne Bishop
Tomcat In Love--Tim O'Brien
Three Challenges to Ethics: Environmentalism, Feminism, and Multiculturalism--James P. Sterba
On The Edge of Anarchy--A. John Simmons
Ideal Code, Real World--Brad Hooker
Justice, Gender, And Equality--Susan Okin
The Magpie Lord (A Charm of Magpies)--KJ Charles
The Girl in the Train--Paula Hawkins
The Good Lord Bird--James McBride
Assassin's Apprentice (Farseer 1)--Robin Hobb
Royal Assassin (Farseer 2)--Robin Hobb
Sex and Social Justice--Martha Nussbaum
Magic Bites (Kate Daniels 1)--Ilona Andrews
The Tropic Of Serpents: A Memoir by Lady Trent--Marie Brennan
The Queen of the Tearling (1)--Erika Johansen
Ship of Magic (Liveship Traders 1)--Robin Hobb
Drown--Junot Diaz
Hounded--Kevin Hearne
Invasion of the Tearling (2)--Erika Johansen
Bonk--Mary Roach
League of Dragons--Naomi Novik
Fire Touched--Patricia Briggs
The Labyrinth of Drakes--Marie Brennan
Rightness as Fairness:A Moral and Political Theory--Marcus Arvan
The Joy Luck Club--Amy Tan
Age of Empathy--Frans De Waal
Hamilton: A Revolution--Lin Manuel Miranda
Primates and Philosophers--Frans De Waal
Americanah--Ngozi Chimamande
Packing For Mars--Mary Roach
Sword of Honor--David Kirk
Santa Olivia--Jacqueline Carey
Written in red--Anne Bishop

Books Read 2015

Books Read 2015 (Goal: 45) So far: 50
Shadows--Robin McKinley
Why Not Socialism?--G.A. Cohen
Men Explain Things to Me--Rebecca Solnit
Cinder (Lunar Chronicles 1)--Marissa Meyer
The Unapologetic Fat Girl's Guide to Exercise and other incendiary acts--Hanne Blank
The Son of Neptune--Rick Riordan
How to Write a Lot: A Practical Guide to Productive Academic Writing--Paul Silvia
The Elite (Selection 2)--Kiera Cass
Plato's Democratic Entanglements: Athenian Politics and the Practice of Philosophy--S. Sara Monoson
Truth, Error, and Criminal Law: An Essay in Legal Epistemology--Lary Laudan
Timaeus--Plato
Yes, Please!--Amy Poehler
Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me--Mindy Kaling
Silver Screen Fiend--Patton Oswalt
Basic Concepts of Criminal Law--George P. Fletcher
Branded Ann--Merry Shannon
The Law of Life and Death--Elizabeth Price Foley
The Bloodletter's Daughter--Linda Lafferty
The Miseducation of Cameron Post--Emily M. Danforth
The Witch's Daughter--Paula Brackston
The Magician King--Lev Grossman
Grave Mercy--Robin Lafevers
Living Asatru--Greg Shetler
Scarlet (Cinder Chronicles 2)--Marissa Meyer
Heat--Bill Buford
Demonglass (Hex Hall 2)--Rachel Dawkins
The 5th Wave--Rick Yancey
Red Queen--Victoria Aveyard
Dark Triumph--Robin Lafevers
The Strange Library--Haruki Murakami
The Secret History--Donna Tartt
Defy--Sara B. Larson
The Mermaid's Sister--Carrie Ann Noble
Modern Romance--Aziz Ansari
Uprooted--Naomi Novik
Otherbound--Corinne Duvvis
Why Political Liberalism?--Paul Weithman
Rules of Prey--John Sandford
The Classic Tradition of Haiku: An Anthology--Ed. Faubion Bowers
Luckiest Girl Alive--Jessica Knoll
Kiss of Deception--Mary E. Pearson
Burned--Karen Marie Moning
Throne of Glass--Sarah J. Maas
The Goldfinch--Donna Tartt
Cat Nip--Gem Sivald
Veil of Ascension--Brandon Sanderson
New Game + --Harris O'Malley
Some Girls Bite (Chicagoland 1)--Chloe O'Neill
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children--Ransom Riggs
The Hero of Ages--Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn 3)

Resolutions 2014-5

Pledged: Read 40 books

Books Read 2014 (Goal: 40) Read: 54

De Anima--Aristotle
American Elsewhere--Robert Jackson Bennett
Marble Season--Gilbert Hernandez
Frost Burned--Patricia Briggs
Fangirl--Rainbow Rowell
The Fault In Our Stars--John Green
Matched--Allie Condie
Warm Bodies--Isaac Marion
Empire of Ivory--Naomi Novik
Slaves of the Passions--Mark Schroeder
Victory of Eagles--Naomi Novik
The Satanic Verses--Salman Rushdie
Slave to Sensation (Psy-Changelings 1)--Nalini Singh
Victory of Eagles--Naomi Novik
The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson 1)--Rick Riordan
Storm Front (Dresden Files 1)--Jim Butcher
Crossed--Ally Condie
The Sea of Monsters (Percy Jackson 2)--Rick Riordan
Crucible of Gold--Naomi Novik
On the Genealogy of Morality--Nietzsche
Shadowfever--Karen Marie Moning
Freedom of the Will--Augustine
Prologemena to a Future Metaphysics--Immanuel Kant
The Cannibal Princess (Psy-Changelings 1.5)--Nalini Singh
Odd Thomas (Odd 1)--Dean Koontz
Cry Wolf (Alpha and Omega 1)--Patricia Briggs
The Titan's Curse (Percy Jackson 3)--Rick Riordan
Scotus for Dunces: an Introduction to the Subtle Doctor--Mary Beth Ingham
Blood of Tyrants--Naomi Novik\
This is How You Lose Her--Junot Diaz
The battle of the Labyrinth (Percy Jackson 4)--Rick Riordan
The Last Olympian (Percy Jackson 5)--Rick Riordan
Wither (Chemical Garden 1)--Lauren Destefano
Visions of Heat (Psy Changlings 2)--Nalini Singh
The Knife of Never Letting Go--Patrick Ness
The Ruins of Gorlan (Ranger's Apprentice 1)--John Flanagan
Drown--Junot Diaz
The Ocean at the End of the Lane--Neil Gaiman
The Handmaid's Tale--Margaret Atwood
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe--Benjamin Alire Saenz
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao--Junot Diaz
Norwegian Wood--Haruki Murakami
Surviving Your Stupid, Stupid Decision to Go to Grad School--Adam Ruben
Night Broken--Patricia Briggs
The Buddha in the Attic--Julie Otsuka
Touch the Dark--Karen Chance
Free Will, Agency, and Meaning in Life--Derek Pereboom
Claimed By Shadow--Karen Chance
Mao II--Don Delillo
Omissions: Agency, Metaphysics, and Responsibility--Randolph Clarke
The Lost Hero--Rick Riordan
The Selection (Selection 1)--Kiera Cass
Hex Hall (Hex Hall 1)--Rachel Hawkins
Fever (Chemical Garden 2)--Lauren Destefano
The Vampire Queen's Servant--Joey M. Hill

Resolutions for 2015: Resolution: [1 private thing]

45 books

Present at at least 1 conference

Make 1 new real friend

Books Read: 2013

Books Read 2013 (Goal: 50); So far--50!
The Honor Code: How Moral Revolutions Happen--Kwame Anthony Appiah
Wolf Who Rules--Wen Spencer
Trickster's Choice--Tamora Pierce
The Tell-Tale Brain: A Neuroscientist's Quest For What Makes Us Human--V.S. Ramachandran
Trickster's Queen--Tamora Pierce
Iced--Karen Marie Moning
The Ph.D. Survival Guide--Eric Jay Dolin
Theaetetus--Plato
Foundations of Ethics: An Anthology--Editted by Shafer-Landau and Cuneo
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic--Alison Bechdel
Defiance--CJ Redwine
Angels' Blood--Nalini Singh
His Majesty's Dragon--Naomi Novik
Knowledge and Politics in Plato's Theaetetus--Paul Stern
Throne of Jade--Naomi Novik
Wanderlust--Anna Aguirre
Mastiff--Tamora Pierce
Shiver--Maggie Stiefvater
Archangel's Kiss--Nalini Singh
Gorgias--Plato
Black Powder War--Naomi Novik
The Pale King--David Foster Wallace
How To Survive Your PhD--Jason Karp
Dreams and Shadows: A Novel--C. Rober Cargill
The Magician King--Lev Grossman
Talulla Rising--Glen Duncan
Moral Perception--Robert Audi
Bitten--Kelley Armstrong
The Demonologist--Andrew Pyper
Bitterblue--Kristin Cashore
Cain--Jose Saramago
Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls--David Sedaris
Rosemary and Rue--Seanan McGuirre
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius--Dave Eggers
A Confederacy of Dunces--John Kennedy Toole
A Natural History of Dragons: A Memoir By Lady Trent--Marie Brennan
Shadow and Bone (Grisha 1)--Leigh Bordugo
Notes From No-Man's Land--Eula Biss
Protagoras--Plato
Language, Truth, and Logic--Ayer
Shades of Citizenship--Melissa Nobles
Sources of Normativity--Christine Korsgaard
The Golem and the Jinni--Helene Wecker
Beyond the Highland Mist--Karen Marie Moning
Sebastian--Anne Bishop
Be the Pack Leader--Cesar Milan
Snapper--Brian Kimberling
My Dumb, Dirty Eyes--Lisa Hanawalt
Hyperbole and a Half--Allie Brosh
Skinwalker: A Jane Yellowrock Novel (1)--Faith Hunter

Why "Egalitarianism" Doesn't Work

Ineffective and Inefficient: Why this Feminist has an issue with “Egalitarianism." 

You’ve all heard the rhetoric before: “Why be a feminist when you can be an egalitarian! You can’t have REAL equality unless you focus on everyone equally! Like, we’re all people!" Yeah. I’m here today to explain to you why I don’t buy into that.

If you’re just going to scroll past this post to the reblog button so you can yell at me, I’d like to take a moment and tell you to fucking not. Actually read what’s going on here. 

My issues with Egalitarianism boil down into two delightfully alliterative issues: Effectiveness and Efficiency. The practical and the theoretical, if you will. Let me explain. 

So, what IS Egalitarianism? One problem is that the word is VERY VERY broad, and there really isn’t a lot of actual activism happening under this label, so working definitions are hard to come by. The way MOST people seem to describe it through is this: it is a belief that ALL people, regardless of gender or race or anything else, are equal, and we should work on EVERYONES problems to make sure everyone gets to be equal. 

So, why is this NOT effective?

Remember how I said that there isn’t a lot of activism happening under this label? Yeah, that’s our first problem. I’m not gunna sign up for an activism group that doesn’t really appear to be doing much, if any, activism. The tag here on Tumblr is nearly entirely “feminism sucks. Egalitarianism is better!" posts instead of, ya know, actual issues. And as an activist, I actually want to deal with issues.

But why is in not efficient? 

This is the main issue at hand. Even if there WAS LOTS of activism working under this name, Egalitarianism is NOT informed and theoretically sound in the issues it claims to address, and thus is not equipped to actually deal with those issues. 

When we, as intersectional feminists, look at a problem, we have to ask ourselves, what is the ROOT of these issues? We recognize that there are established social scaffoldings of oppression in place that favor male-ness, whiteness, straightness, cisness, thiness, and being able-bodied over everything else. These forces, such as Patriarchy and White Supremacy, influence people in a variety of ways based on their own identities. 

Sometimes, even power groups take backlash from these systems of inequality. We know that the Patriarchy enforces increasingly strict and aggressive ideals of masculinity, which often works to silence male victims of abuse, for example.When we say that “Patriarchy hurts men too!" this is what we mean.  

Because we understand these power relationships, we can work to dismantle the underlying power structures in our culture to help everyone. 

Egalitarianism does not do this. The rhetoric at play here completely IGNORES these underlying causes and treats ALL gender equality problems as though they were unconnected and equally important. It buys into this strange notion that somehow MISANDRY is responsible for hyper-aggressive ideals of masculinity, or the silencing of male victims, or the draft. So they have to fight Misandry too! Or something?

And here’s the thing: If you don’t understand the ROOT of a problem, you’re never going to be able to fix it. 

Egalitarianism sounds decent enough, and safe enough to not offend those in power. But revolutions need revolutionaries, yall. This weak-tea low-cal substitute doesn’t have the teeth to fight the battles it needs to fight. It is a neutered and de-clawed Feminism that can’t get things done, and doesn’t even try. 

I understand the appeal. I do. But THIS is why I will never use that label, and roll my eyes in frustration when people try to paint it as the MORE EQUAL cousin of feminism. It isn’t. It’s Feminism’s daddy’s boy little brother who never gets his shit taken care of while Big Sister starts the revolution. 

Reblogged from Stfu Assholes

Breaking Up

Having abandoned substance dualism in 2009, I am very saddened to announce this break-up between my mind and body. It was instigated by a commercial I watched on Hulu for First Response pregnancy tests. "Your body can tell you're pregnant before you can," the narrator said matter-of-factly. It dawned on me that we might be having some communication problems. Having thought this over very thoroughly (viz. not at all), my body and I have decided that we need some space.

We are still open to reconciling if we decide that spending time apart is a category mistake.

A racist woman is not a feminist; she doesn’t care about helping women, just the women who look like her and can buy the same things she can. A transphobic woman is not a feminist; she is overly concerned with policing the bodies and expressions of others. A woman against reproductive rights — to use bell hook’s own example, and an issue close to your heart — is not a feminist; she prioritizes her dogma or her disgust over the bodies of others. An ableist woman is not a feminist; she holds some Platonic ideal of what a physically or mentally “whole” person should be and tries to force the world to fit inside it.

An Open Letter to Caitlin Moran by Nyux (via ellielamothe)

gosh yes… death to the caitlin moran “if you’re a woman congrats you’re a feminist” quote

(via feministdisney)

(via sleepydumpling)

"Having privilege isn’t something you can usually change, but that’s okay, because it’s not something you should be ashamed of, or feel bad about. Being told you have privilege, or that you’re privileged, isn’t an insult. It’s a reminder! The key to privilege isn’t worrying about having it, or trying to deny it, or apologize for it, or get rid of it. It’s just paying attention to it, and knowing what it means for you and the people around you. Having privilege is like having big feet. No one hates you for having big feet! They just want you to remember to be careful where you walk."

Sindeloke, on Privilege  (via rebel-grrrl)

lizziegoneastray:

lord-kitschener:

Saxon Industries (Or Dani has a Doctor Who AU): Just A Quick Note to Atheists (From an Atheist)

thefullmetalbitch:

1.  Being an atheist does not erase privilege.
   1. 1. This includes white privilege.
      2. This also includes cis privilege, CNDP privilege, and het privilege.
      3. Seriously, being an atheist does not erase your white privilege.
   2. Criticizing exclusively (majority) non-white religions is racist.
      1. This includes Islam.
      2. The existence of white Muslims does not invalidate this point.
   3. Black Christianity is not always hetereosexist.
      1. Black people are not the most heterosexist heterosexists that ever heterosexisted.
      2. Black queer/gay/lesbian/non-straight/pansexual/asexual people exist too.
   4. Mestiz@s are not the root cause of sexism.
      1. Neither is Latin American Christianity.
      2. You do realize Christianity was imported, right?
   5. Atheists are not the only oppressed religious group.
      1. Muslims are oppressed too.
      2. Often by white atheists.
   6. Islam is not evil.
      1. Neither are hijabs or niqabs.
      2. Neither is Vodun/voodoo/hoodoo.
      3. Neither is any other religion…
      4. …unless it’s World Church of the Creator / The Creativity Movement…
         1. Which is white supremacist.
      5. …or the Westboro Baptist Church.
         1. Who even the KKK hates.
   7. Evolutionary psychology is sexist, racist, cissexist, ableist, and heterosexist.
      1. This includes evolutionary psychology that (supposedly) supports atheism.
      2. Supporting evo-psych means
         1. You have not done your homework, or
         2. You are prejudiced.
   8. Other people’s clothing is not your business.
      1. Including religious articles of clothing.
      2. Including hijabs, headwraps, niqabs, burkas, crosses, crucifixes, pentacles, and other symbols.
      3. Even if you really don’t like it.
      4. Even if it’s really religious.
   9. Acknowledge other people’s identities.
      1. Even if you’re uncomfortable with them.
         1. Especially if you’re uncomfortable,
            1. Because they have racial, sexual, cultural, or disabled identity
   10. Paganism is not ‘atheism-lite’.
       1. Neither is agnosticism.
       2. Neither are indigenous religions.
   11. There is no such thing as ‘ironic’ bigotry.
       1. Unless it’s atheists whining about Christmas.
          1. Seriously, I thought only evangelicals did that.
   12. Trans people are not your special little puzzles.
       1. Neither are autistic / disabled people.
          1. I don’t care if you’re a scientist. We’re still not your Rubik’s Cubes.
   13. Not everything should be about science.
       1. There. I said it.
   14. PoC are not the reason why a lot of people are wary of atheists.
       1. It’s because of white/het/cis/CND atheists.
          1. Yes, including you.
   15. Demanding people educate you is oppressive.
       1. Even if you’re ‘being really nice about it’.
          1. Nice =/= good.
   16. Religions are not inherently oppressive.
       1. Did you know that hijabs and niqabs are cultural?
          1. And that many women find them liberating?
   17. Using emotion in writing, reasoning, the internet, or decision-making does not mean one is stupid/dumb/monkey-like/less-evolved/other ableist, racist, eugenicist terms.
       1. It means one is a fucking human being.
   18. Disability is not a flaw in evolution.
       1. Disabled people will not die out with evolution.
       2. Fuck you.
   19. Being atheist does not mean you are automatically not allistic.
       1. If you don’t know what that means, look it up.
          1. You can use Google.
   20. Being a queer atheist does not make you white.
       1. Seriously, enough with this racist bullshit.
   21. Cultural appropriation is also done by atheists.
       1. Deal with it.
   22. There are no purple people.
       1. You should know this.
   23. Making fun of ‘them crazy darkies doin’ their ridick voodoo’ is racist, ableist, and the reason why a LOT of black atheists will not have anything to do with you.
       1. Satire is a tool that works when aimed upwards, at the most powerful people.
          1. Black people are not the most powerful people.
             1. Especially black people practicing voodoo.
   24. No religion is more ridiculous than any other.
       1. Including Mormonism.
       2. …but some have more power, and are therefore better to make fun of.
          1. Like Mormonism.
   25. Being colorblind is only okay if you literally cannot see or distinguish colors.
       1. Otherwise, it’s racist.
   26. Religions derive strength and power from the social power of their followers.
       1. Which is why evangelical Christianity is a better target than Black Christianity.
   27. Being an agnostic (or bisexual) is not ‘taking the easy way out’.
       1. Really, now?
   28. Monosexism is real.
       1. How do I know?
          1. You’re doing it right now.
       2. And yes, queer can be a term for polysexual.
   29. If you think black people are mean to you,
       1. You’re probably white,
          1. And won’t say you are
             1. Because white people never say they’re white.
   30. The terms ‘hermophradite’ ‘third sex’ and ‘biological gender’ are
       1. Essentialist,
       2. Bigoted,
       3. Cissexist,
       4. Anti-intersex
       5. And not up for debate.
   31. If you refuse to identify your privileged identities,
       1. I’m going to assume you just think you’re ‘normal’
          1. And moderate you.
   32. Refusing to acknowledge the power of environment and social structure
       1. Is bigoted
       2. And means you’re a biological essentialist.
   33. Intersex people exist.
       1. Deal with it.
       2. And no, they are not ‘miracles of evolution’.
          1. I thought you didn’t believe in miracles.
   34. Freedom does not just mean ‘freedom to be an atheist and make the choices I would make’. It means freedom to make even choices I don’t like.
       1. Including religious choices.
   35. Social justice / social uprooting / anti-oppression is not about you and your feelings.
       1. Nobody cares about white guilt.
       2. Making everything about your feelings is oppressive.
   36. If you’re offended,
       1. Get over it.
       2. Realize that being offended is much better than being oppressed.

(via feralprancinghomosexual)

Being “Hurt” by a Word that A person says is ridiculous

darkjez:

siddharthasmama:

moniquill:

goldenheartedrose:

dopethoughtswhilehigh:

grow up humanity. they’re just sounds 

Hahahahahahaahahahaha.

But you’re wrong, though.

No no no no no, I need to break this shit down though.

Ok, let’s talk about what words are.

Words are the most powerful piece of technology that humans have ever come up with. They’re these complex sounds or gestures or squiggles that represent sounds/gestures that - GET THIS SHIT- Allow an idea to be passed from the mind of one human to the mind of another.

That is some groundbreaking shit. I can take a thought that’s in my head, and put it into your head, and then you can react to it and give me feedback and I can know the thoughts that resulted, BECAUSE WORDS. Words allow me to RE-WRITE YOUR BRAIN’S ACTIVITY.

When someone is hurt by a word, it’s not the sound that did it. It’s the fact that the word indicates that there’s some really shitty thoughts going on inside the head of the person who used that word. Because, get this: WORDS MEAN THINGS.

Being hurt by a word that someone says indicates that the person who was hurt has an understanding of that word’s meaning and context and what ideas and behaviors that word represents. It means having the capacity to understand an abstract thing, a sound or gesture, as being representative of something else entirely. Having an emotional reaction to a word is really having an emotional reaction to the thoughts and feelings of another person as they choose to express them in a given social interaction.

There is nothing more adult and more fucking HUMAN than that.

reblogging for awesome commentary.

I am constantly telling people around me the importance of words and word choices, and language in general, as one of the most profound ways of connecting from one person to another.

moniquill: makin you look foolish, always.

Queerness, to me, is about far more than homosexual attraction. It’s about a willingness to see all other taboos broken down. Sure, many of us start on this path when we first feel “same sex” or “same gender” attraction (though what is sex? And what is gender? And does anyone really have the same sex or gender as anyone else?). But queerness doesn’t stop there.
This is a somewhat controversial stance, but to me queer means something completely different than “gay” or “lesbian” or “bisexual.” A queer person is usually someone who has come to a non-binary view of gender, who recognizes the validity of all trans identities, and who, given this understanding of infinite gender possibilities, finds it hard to define their sexuality any longer in a gender-based way. Queer people understand and support non-monogamy even if they do not engage in it themselves. They can grok being asexual or aromantic. (What does sex have to do with love, or love with sex, necessarily?) A queer can view promiscuous (protected) public bathhouse sex with strangers and complete abstinence as equally healthy.
Queers understand that people have different relationships to their bodies. We get what it means to be stone. We know what body dysphoria is about. We understand that not everyone likes to get touched the same way or to get touched at all. We realize that people with disabilities may have different sexual needs, and that people with survivor histories often have sexual triggers. We can negotiate safe and creative ways to be intimate with people with HIV/AIDs and other STIs.
Queers understand the range of power and sensation and the diversity of sexual dynamics. We are tops and bottoms, doms and subs, sadists and masochists and sadomasochists, versatiles and switches. We know what we like and don’t like in bed.
We embrace a wide range of relationship types. We can be partners, lovers, friends with benefits, platonic sweethearts, chosen family. We can have very different dynamics with different people, often all at once. We don’t expect one person to be able to fulfill all our diverse needs, fantasies and ideals indefinitely.
Because our views on relationships, sex, gender, love, bodies, and family are so unconventional, we are of necessity anti-assimilationist. Because under the kyriarchy we suffer, and watch the people we love suffering, we are political. Because we want to survive, we fight. We only want the freedom to be ourselves, love ourselves, love each other, and live together. Because we are routinely denied that, we are pissed.
Queer doesn’t mean “don’t label me,” it means “I am naming myself.” It means “ask me more questions if you’re curious” and in the same breath means “fuck off.

“When men feel inconsequential, it’s easier to blame women than it is to confront patriarchy-the true source of the diminishment and lack of meaning in so many men’s lives. When men feel unloved and disconnected, it’s easier to accuse women of not loving them well enough than it is to consider men’s own alienation from life. It’s easier to think of women as keeping men from the essence of their own lives than it is to see how men’s participation in patriarchy can suffocate and kill the life within themselves. It’s easier to theorize about powerful, devouring mothers than to confront the reality of patriarchy.

Beneath the massive denial of men’s power and responsibility and its projection onto women is an enormous pool of rage, resentment, and fear. Rather than look at patriarchy and their place within it, many men will beat, rape, torture, murder, and oppress women, children, and one another. They will wage mindless war and offer themselves up for the slaughter, chain themselves to jobs and work themselves to numbed exhaustion as if their lives had no value or meaning beyond controlling or being controlled or defending against control, and content themselves with half-lives of confused, lost deprivation. What men lack, women didn’t take from them, and it isn’t up to women to give it back.”

Allan G. Johnson (via wretchedoftheearth)

A lot of times men get angry at me when I don’t address the problems men face. [….] For some reason, men want women to fix their lives too. (sexist tropes make women into plot points, catalysts for male character development, homemakers, and manic pixie dream girl muses. We’reexpected to change their lives for the better. It’s written into the definition of womanhood.)

There are genuine problems that men face, problems also created by patriarchy: Not being allowed to show any emotion other than rage. Being held to strict standards of masculinity that require them to disrespect women and one-up each other to maintain a sense of identity. The required neurotic aversion to anything even remotely feminine that forbids any kind of empathetic connection to other human beings. Getting attacked for showing any kind of vulnerability.

These are problems that men have approached me with and demanded I address them, as if I as a feminist have any influence over how men define their manhood. Instead of complaining that feminists should fix all the problems that men create and perpetuate, men need to organize themselvesto change these things. And while you’re at it, tell the MRA’s to give it a rest. They’re just making it worse for you.

“‎Later that night
I held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?
It answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.” Warsan Shire (via loveyourchaos)(Source: oktoberlyons)

“

We have overlooked how this myth maintains a system of power that sees men sweeping in, rescuing women from a place of privilege, endowing women with self-esteem, keeping women in their place, and teaching women to rely on male approval.
We have overlooked that women, by and large, do not sing songs to cheer men up, herald the voices of men, take ownership of male bodies, or strive to ensure men feel loved, wanted, and adored.

— Janna Payne in, “I’m Sick of Men Telling Women To Feel Better About Their Bodies"

In eleven days, I will officially be a "Master" of Philosophy. 

Goals for the summer:

Read Purgatorio out loud with dad

Re-learn some baseline modal logic to prepare for my metaphysics/logic oriented cohort

Lose 10 pounds

Read Aristophanes' The Clouds in Greek

Find an apartment/rent a house 

Prepare to get a dogpal

Clean parents' basement

Whine Whine

I would like to get some good news rather than rejections everyday. I would like to have had more self-awareness months ago and given myself more projects, because picking up projects to distract myself when I’m already feeling down is hard. I would like to have good news to tell my parents, because sending them texts every day with the names of where I’ve been rejected is bad enough, but their encouraging texts back about how they’re proud of me make me wince and feel like I actually failed at something where before it was easy to shrug it off and realize I’m doing okay. I would like a glass of wine. I would like a bottle of wine. I want a room to myself for a few days where it’s just me and a bed and a book. 

This

“I have not yet unlearned the esoteric bullshit and pseudo intellectualizing that school brainwashed into my writing”Gloria Anzaldua

For Women Who Are Difficult to Love

“You tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do, love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.”“For Women Who Are Difficult to Love,” Warsan Shire

Blow Me Away 30 Day Challenge

Blue and I have started listening to the (adorable) Sex Nerd Sandra podcast, and just listened to the episode on oral sex "Blow Each Other Away!"

In that episode, Sandra's guest Jaidra poses the hypothetical, "what would happen in your relationship if a couple had oral sex every day for 90 days?" What would it teach you about each other, about your own bodies, about the relationship, etc? 

Being the competitive person I am (and someone who really likes both giving and receiving oral sex)--let's do this! We've decided to start with a 30 day challenge, so as not to give ourselves too overwhelming a challenge (and because we're still semi-new to sexing each other and I want to do a lot of things that aren't oral related).

There's going to be a period in there where I'm in MD, but it's just going to have to happen that way, and we'll tack the days on at the other end of that six day period. 

In any case, we'll be starting next Friday, February 7th. Hurray!

Obligatory New Year's Post

Books Read 2012 (Goal: 60) So far: 60!

The Oathbound--Mercedes Lackey

Oathbreakers--Mercedes Lackey

Oathblood--Mercedes Lackey

The Last Werewolf--Glen Duncan

Collected Poems--Philip Larkin

Blueprints for Building Better Girls--Elissa Schappell

The Scorpio Races--Maggie Stiefvater

The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer--Michelle Hodkin

Kraken--China Mieville

The Silver Metal Lover--Tanith Lee

Outlander--Diana Gabaldon

Firelight--Sophie Jordan

Moral Relativism and Moral Objectivity--Harman and Thomson

How to Read a Poem--Molly Peacock

Vanish--Sophie Jordan

The Closing of the American Mind--Allan Bloom

The Public and Its Problems--John Dewey

Ship Of Magic--Robin  Hobb

Jean-Jacques Rousseau: A Friend of Virtue--Joseph R. Reisert

Rousseau and Desire--Blackell, Duncan, Kow

The Immortal Prince--Jennifer Fallon

Rousseau: Nature and the Problem of the Good Life--Laurence D. Cooper

John Dewey and Self-Realization--Robert J. Roth

John Dewey and the Artful Life: Pragmatism, Aesthetics and Morality--Scott R Stroud

Starcrossed--Josephine Angelini

Bounty--Harper Alexander

Grimspace--Ann Aguirre

Cry Wolf--Patricia Briggs

How to Be Richer, Smarter, and Better-Looking Than Your Parents--Zac Bissonnette

Mistborn--Brandon Sanderson

Natural Goodness--Philippa Foot

On Virtue Ethics--Rosalind Hursthouse

Noncognitivism in Ethics--Mark Schroeder

Skios--Michael Frayn

Utilitarianism--John Stuart Mill

Fifty Shades of Grey--EL James

Seraphina--Rachel Hartman

Graveminder--Melissa Marr

The Player of Games--Iain M. Banks

Storm Born--Richelle Mead

The Golden Mean--Annabel Lyon

The Gift of Fear--Gavin de Becker

Unnatural Issue--Mercedes Lackey

John Dewey's Ethics: Democracy as Experience--Gregory Fernando Pappas

Transforming Experience:Joh Dewey's Cultural Instrumentalism--Michael Eldridge

Shadow of Night--Deborah Harkness

Beauty and the Werewolf--Mercedes Lackey

Everneath--Brodi Ashton

The Sun Also Rises--Ernest Hemingway

The Republic--Plato

Dead Witch Walking--Kim Harrison

Storm Glass--Maria V. Snyder

Tinker--Wen Spencer

Santa Cruise--Mary Higgins Clark/Carol Higgins Clark

Skipping Christmas--John Grisham

The Good, The Bad, and the Undead--Kim Harrison

Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception--Pamela Meyer

Come On All You Ghosts--Matthew Zapruder

Human-Carrying Flight Technology--Christopher Shipman

For the Love of Letters: A 21st Guide to the Art of Letter Writing--Samara O'Shea

Better than staring out the window

I wanted a drink; a gin and tonic, to be precise. A reward for finishing a project I’d been laboring on for the past three months, in a day where I’d also been tested (declining irregular contracted nouns in the third declension in Ancient Greek) and flitted back and forth to campus four times on foot to hand in a shorter project on time (also completed today). But I was afraid to ask if you’d like to go, or even to go myself, by myself; I didn’t want to give you further, secret ammunition to use against me. 

I was dumbstruck the first time you used drinking as a weapon against me; deliberately leading the conversation here in the middle of a fight on completely unrelated territory, wondering if I were an alcoholic, in so many words. Apparently tallying the drinks I bought myself to unwind, evidence of money I selfishly spent on myself. Not so innocently, though you gave no indication at any time that this might be a problem, and so I went merrily along, thinking I was, in your eyes as in my own, having a drink for fun. My right, my minor indulgence in a fairly serious-minded, spare year.

Wanting one now, I have to wonder what you’ll think. Yes, I accomplished something I’ve been working on for a long time, and yes I worked hard all day and have been working hard for a while now. But I had a beer earlier. I wonder that you’ll think that wanting a drink after a long day is physical dependence. I wonder that you’ll point to this day in specific as evidence that I don’t value you (I still don’t understand how that argument goes). 

I find myself becoming irritated, just sitting here on the couch stewing, wanting that drink. Watching you build across the room, feeling matronly and tightly strung in my best boots and my red top and my tight black jeans. Blonde bangs in my face, putting the same stale water into the kettle, to boil it for the third time.