Being “Hurt” by a Word that A person says is ridiculous

darkjez:

siddharthasmama:

moniquill:

goldenheartedrose:

dopethoughtswhilehigh:

grow up humanity. they’re just sounds 

Hahahahahahaahahahaha.

But you’re wrong, though.

No no no no no, I need to break this shit down though.

Ok, let’s talk about what words are.

Words are the most powerful piece of technology that humans have ever come up with. They’re these complex sounds or gestures or squiggles that represent sounds/gestures that - GET THIS SHIT- Allow an idea to be passed from the mind of one human to the mind of another.

That is some groundbreaking shit. I can take a thought that’s in my head, and put it into your head, and then you can react to it and give me feedback and I can know the thoughts that resulted, BECAUSE WORDS. Words allow me to RE-WRITE YOUR BRAIN’S ACTIVITY.

When someone is hurt by a word, it’s not the sound that did it. It’s the fact that the word indicates that there’s some really shitty thoughts going on inside the head of the person who used that word. Because, get this: WORDS MEAN THINGS.

Being hurt by a word that someone says indicates that the person who was hurt has an understanding of that word’s meaning and context and what ideas and behaviors that word represents. It means having the capacity to understand an abstract thing, a sound or gesture, as being representative of something else entirely. Having an emotional reaction to a word is really having an emotional reaction to the thoughts and feelings of another person as they choose to express them in a given social interaction.

There is nothing more adult and more fucking HUMAN than that.

reblogging for awesome commentary.

I am constantly telling people around me the importance of words and word choices, and language in general, as one of the most profound ways of connecting from one person to another.

moniquill: makin you look foolish, always.

Queerness, to me, is about far more than homosexual attraction. It’s about a willingness to see all other taboos broken down. Sure, many of us start on this path when we first feel “same sex” or “same gender” attraction (though what is sex? And what is gender? And does anyone really have the same sex or gender as anyone else?). But queerness doesn’t stop there.
This is a somewhat controversial stance, but to me queer means something completely different than “gay” or “lesbian” or “bisexual.” A queer person is usually someone who has come to a non-binary view of gender, who recognizes the validity of all trans identities, and who, given this understanding of infinite gender possibilities, finds it hard to define their sexuality any longer in a gender-based way. Queer people understand and support non-monogamy even if they do not engage in it themselves. They can grok being asexual or aromantic. (What does sex have to do with love, or love with sex, necessarily?) A queer can view promiscuous (protected) public bathhouse sex with strangers and complete abstinence as equally healthy.
Queers understand that people have different relationships to their bodies. We get what it means to be stone. We know what body dysphoria is about. We understand that not everyone likes to get touched the same way or to get touched at all. We realize that people with disabilities may have different sexual needs, and that people with survivor histories often have sexual triggers. We can negotiate safe and creative ways to be intimate with people with HIV/AIDs and other STIs.
Queers understand the range of power and sensation and the diversity of sexual dynamics. We are tops and bottoms, doms and subs, sadists and masochists and sadomasochists, versatiles and switches. We know what we like and don’t like in bed.
We embrace a wide range of relationship types. We can be partners, lovers, friends with benefits, platonic sweethearts, chosen family. We can have very different dynamics with different people, often all at once. We don’t expect one person to be able to fulfill all our diverse needs, fantasies and ideals indefinitely.
Because our views on relationships, sex, gender, love, bodies, and family are so unconventional, we are of necessity anti-assimilationist. Because under the kyriarchy we suffer, and watch the people we love suffering, we are political. Because we want to survive, we fight. We only want the freedom to be ourselves, love ourselves, love each other, and live together. Because we are routinely denied that, we are pissed.
Queer doesn’t mean “don’t label me,” it means “I am naming myself.” It means “ask me more questions if you’re curious” and in the same breath means “fuck off.

“When men feel inconsequential, it’s easier to blame women than it is to confront patriarchy-the true source of the diminishment and lack of meaning in so many men’s lives. When men feel unloved and disconnected, it’s easier to accuse women of not loving them well enough than it is to consider men’s own alienation from life. It’s easier to think of women as keeping men from the essence of their own lives than it is to see how men’s participation in patriarchy can suffocate and kill the life within themselves. It’s easier to theorize about powerful, devouring mothers than to confront the reality of patriarchy.

Beneath the massive denial of men’s power and responsibility and its projection onto women is an enormous pool of rage, resentment, and fear. Rather than look at patriarchy and their place within it, many men will beat, rape, torture, murder, and oppress women, children, and one another. They will wage mindless war and offer themselves up for the slaughter, chain themselves to jobs and work themselves to numbed exhaustion as if their lives had no value or meaning beyond controlling or being controlled or defending against control, and content themselves with half-lives of confused, lost deprivation. What men lack, women didn’t take from them, and it isn’t up to women to give it back.”

Allan G. Johnson (via wretchedoftheearth)

A lot of times men get angry at me when I don’t address the problems men face. [….] For some reason, men want women to fix their lives too. (sexist tropes make women into plot points, catalysts for male character development, homemakers, and manic pixie dream girl muses. We’reexpected to change their lives for the better. It’s written into the definition of womanhood.)

There are genuine problems that men face, problems also created by patriarchy: Not being allowed to show any emotion other than rage. Being held to strict standards of masculinity that require them to disrespect women and one-up each other to maintain a sense of identity. The required neurotic aversion to anything even remotely feminine that forbids any kind of empathetic connection to other human beings. Getting attacked for showing any kind of vulnerability.

These are problems that men have approached me with and demanded I address them, as if I as a feminist have any influence over how men define their manhood. Instead of complaining that feminists should fix all the problems that men create and perpetuate, men need to organize themselvesto change these things. And while you’re at it, tell the MRA’s to give it a rest. They’re just making it worse for you.

“‎Later that night
I held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?
It answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.” Warsan Shire (via loveyourchaos)(Source: oktoberlyons)

“

We have overlooked how this myth maintains a system of power that sees men sweeping in, rescuing women from a place of privilege, endowing women with self-esteem, keeping women in their place, and teaching women to rely on male approval.
We have overlooked that women, by and large, do not sing songs to cheer men up, herald the voices of men, take ownership of male bodies, or strive to ensure men feel loved, wanted, and adored.

— Janna Payne in, “I’m Sick of Men Telling Women To Feel Better About Their Bodies"

In eleven days, I will officially be a "Master" of Philosophy. 

Goals for the summer:

Read Purgatorio out loud with dad

Re-learn some baseline modal logic to prepare for my metaphysics/logic oriented cohort

Lose 10 pounds

Read Aristophanes' The Clouds in Greek

Find an apartment/rent a house 

Prepare to get a dogpal

Clean parents' basement

Whine Whine

I would like to get some good news rather than rejections everyday. I would like to have had more self-awareness months ago and given myself more projects, because picking up projects to distract myself when I’m already feeling down is hard. I would like to have good news to tell my parents, because sending them texts every day with the names of where I’ve been rejected is bad enough, but their encouraging texts back about how they’re proud of me make me wince and feel like I actually failed at something where before it was easy to shrug it off and realize I’m doing okay. I would like a glass of wine. I would like a bottle of wine. I want a room to myself for a few days where it’s just me and a bed and a book. 

This

“I have not yet unlearned the esoteric bullshit and pseudo intellectualizing that school brainwashed into my writing”Gloria Anzaldua