Friday, April 20, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
People always forget the end of this poem
For whatever reason, it seems like people in my life have decided a fragment of this poem is a proper response when talking about women (usually themselves). The line I hear a lot is "Girls love a sick child or a healthy animal/A man who's both itches them like an incubus"
She Bitches About Boys (Marilyn Hacker)
To live on charm, one must be courteous.
To live on others’ love, one must be loveable.
Some get away with murder being beautiful.
Girls love a sick child or a healthy animal.
A man who’s both itches them like an incubus.
But I, for one, have had a bellyful
of giving reassurances and obvious
advice with scrambled eggs and cereal;
then bad debts, broken dates, and lecherous
onanastic dreams of estival
nights when some high-strung, well-hung, penurious
boy, not knowing what he’d get, could be more generous."
Let's all remember together that we don't 'fix' each other, and that this view of 'feminine' standards (as well as being misandric in its expectations for the man's role in the relationship) is shitty and labels you the Unfun Police forever.
Just...getting tired of repeating that one. >>
She Bitches About Boys (Marilyn Hacker)
To live on charm, one must be courteous.
To live on others’ love, one must be loveable.
Some get away with murder being beautiful.
Girls love a sick child or a healthy animal.
A man who’s both itches them like an incubus.
But I, for one, have had a bellyful
of giving reassurances and obvious
advice with scrambled eggs and cereal;
then bad debts, broken dates, and lecherous
onanastic dreams of estival
nights when some high-strung, well-hung, penurious
boy, not knowing what he’d get, could be more generous."
Let's all remember together that we don't 'fix' each other, and that this view of 'feminine' standards (as well as being misandric in its expectations for the man's role in the relationship) is shitty and labels you the Unfun Police forever.
Just...getting tired of repeating that one. >>
Friday, March 16, 2012
Me problems
My lover's advice on a 'friend' I've been uncomfortable with for years seems sound.
The fact is that I'm not okay with her. For a lot of reasons. I have little to nothing in common with her, we have not talked about anything that was not either banal or about her problems in...multiple years, and she really hurt my family.
It's my problem, as I've consistently downplayed how big of a problem this is for our friendship. This was a bad move. It's much better to be upfront with people, even if they will react badly.
Since my wedding is coming up in June, I feel like I have to do this now, as at the moment I'm not entirely comfortable inviting her to my wedding. And my wedding is small enough that no one I don't wholeheartedly love and consistently connect with should be there.
I'm trying to figure out how to bring this up, and what would be most constructive. It's gotten to the point where I almost feel like I'm leading the friend on by allowing her to think we're okay. We're not okay.
The fact is that I'm not okay with her. For a lot of reasons. I have little to nothing in common with her, we have not talked about anything that was not either banal or about her problems in...multiple years, and she really hurt my family.
It's my problem, as I've consistently downplayed how big of a problem this is for our friendship. This was a bad move. It's much better to be upfront with people, even if they will react badly.
Since my wedding is coming up in June, I feel like I have to do this now, as at the moment I'm not entirely comfortable inviting her to my wedding. And my wedding is small enough that no one I don't wholeheartedly love and consistently connect with should be there.
I'm trying to figure out how to bring this up, and what would be most constructive. It's gotten to the point where I almost feel like I'm leading the friend on by allowing her to think we're okay. We're not okay.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Impotent Rambling
I have to admit, I'm a little hurt to realize I'm not that important to the person I consider one of the closest people in my life. I apparently don't warrant information and am not someone to be contacted when he is sent to the hospital for a couple weeks--that's for someone else. Someone else who, by the way, fails to call and inform me of details when the friend apparently explicitly asks her to. Leaving me to think very dark thoughts about said girl.
Thankfully I know this person's mother, who is thoughtful enough to know I'd be out of my mind with constant worry and fear and feelings of helplessness strong enough to temporarily cripple me, and who is keeping me updated on his health. At least I know t he facts.
It still hurts that I'm not special enough to deserve knowledge from the source. I guess it just shows where we are; nothing to be done.
The friend's just being callous not passing on the request to inform me, though. I'd been trying to work my way up to overtures of friendship, but I doubt I will now. Of course, I haven't made any overt efforts to contact her--that's probably me being passive-aggressive and seeing if she'll ever remember basic courtesy.
But I could. It's on me.
I think I'm a little bit too hurt to think clearly on the subject. I feel like i have a rival, which is fucking ridiculous.
No idea what to do with myself. I hope he's out soon.
Thankfully I know this person's mother, who is thoughtful enough to know I'd be out of my mind with constant worry and fear and feelings of helplessness strong enough to temporarily cripple me, and who is keeping me updated on his health. At least I know t he facts.
It still hurts that I'm not special enough to deserve knowledge from the source. I guess it just shows where we are; nothing to be done.
The friend's just being callous not passing on the request to inform me, though. I'd been trying to work my way up to overtures of friendship, but I doubt I will now. Of course, I haven't made any overt efforts to contact her--that's probably me being passive-aggressive and seeing if she'll ever remember basic courtesy.
But I could. It's on me.
I think I'm a little bit too hurt to think clearly on the subject. I feel like i have a rival, which is fucking ridiculous.
No idea what to do with myself. I hope he's out soon.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Resolutions 2012
1—Read 60 books
2—Lose 20 pounds before my wedding
3—write something real; a project just for me, unrelated to my graduate degree
4—write something philosophically worthwhile, even if it’s just an idea that’ll take me into the future
5—be a better friend; more attentive, particularly, despite my tendencies to disappear into projects
6—start playing piano again, starting with Beautiful Maladies
2—Lose 20 pounds before my wedding
3—write something real; a project just for me, unrelated to my graduate degree
4—write something philosophically worthwhile, even if it’s just an idea that’ll take me into the future
5—be a better friend; more attentive, particularly, despite my tendencies to disappear into projects
6—start playing piano again, starting with Beautiful Maladies
Monday, January 2, 2012
Doctor Rafa Completed Last Year's New Year's Resolution
BOOKS READ-2011 (goal: 50)
After Graceland--Charles Spencer
Hunger Games--Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire--Suzanne Collins
Maledicte--Lane Robbins
The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales--Oliver Sacks
Mockingjay--Suzanne Collins
Drink: A Cultural History of Alcohol--Iain McKelley
Fragile Eternity--Melissa Marr
The Magicians--Lev Grossman
I Like You: Hospitality under the Influence--Amy Sedaris
City of Glass--Cassandra Clare
Freedom and Neurobiology: Reflections on Free WIll, Language, and Political Power--John R. Searle
Bayou Moon--Ilona Andrews
White Noise--Don Delillo
Vampire Academy--Richelle Mead
Frostbite--Richelle Mead
Dreamtigers--Jorge Luis Borges
Squirrel seeks Chipmunk--David Sedaris
Shadow Kiss--Richelle Mead
Blood Promise--Richelle Mead
Shadow Dance--Robin Wayne Bailey
Warped--Maurissa Guibard
Anansi Boys--Neil Gaiman
River Marked--Patricia Briggs
The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy and Neuroscience--assorted authors
A World Without Time--Palle Yourgrau
Spirit Bound--Richelle Mead
Blue Bloods--Melissa De La Cruz
The Mind's I: Fantasies and Reflections on Self and Soul--Douglas R. Hoffstadter and Daniel C. Dennett
The Enchantress of Florence--Salman Rushdie
Masquerade--Melissa De La Cruz
Art In Three Dimensions--Noel Carroll
Paranormalcy--Kiersten White
Lamplighter--DM Cornish
Philosophy and Neuroscience--Bennett, Hacker, Dennett, Searle
Foundling--DM Cornish
Bossypants--Tina Fey
Divergent--Veronica Roth
I Am America(And So Can You!)--Stephen Colbert
Earth (the Book!)--Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Long for this world--Jonathan Weiner
Zombie Spaceship Wasteland--Patton Oswalt
The World In Six Songs--Daniel Levitan
Shit My Dad Says--Justin Halpern
The Moral Psychology Handbook--John M. Doris and the Moral Psychology Research Group
Spindle's End--Robin McKinley
Better--Atul Gawande
Darkfever--Karen Marie Moning
Pathfinder--Orson Scott Card
Bones of Faerie--Janni Lee Simner
Bonk--Mary Roach
Bloodfever--Karen Marie Moning
The Origin of Satan--Elaine Pagels
The Colour of Magic--Terry Pratchett
The Hob's Bargain--Patricia Briggs
Faefever--Karen Marie Moning
Infinite Jest--David Foster Wallace
Dreamfever--Karen Marie Moning
The Iceman Cometh--Eugene O'Neil
The Maze Runner--James Dashner
The Scorch Trials--James Dashner
The Poisoner's Handbook--Deborah Blum
Brave New World--Aldous Huxley
The Whale's Companion--edited by Adriana Klepac
Logicomix--Apostolos Doxiadis, Christos H. Papadimitriou, Alecos Papadatos, Annie Di Donna
The Witches of East End--Melissa de la Cruz
A Discovery of Witches--Deborah Harkness
Blood, Bones, and Butter: The Inadvertent Education of A Reluctant Chef--Gabrielle Hamilton
Huntress--Malinda Lo
Incarceron--Catherine Fisher
Basic Rights:Subsistence, Affluence, and US Foreign Policy--Henry Shue
A Visit From the Goon Squad--Jennifer Egan
Foundation--Mercedes Lackey
Intrigues--Mercedes Lackey
What is this thing called love--Kim Addonizio
Dearest Creature--Amy Gerstler
After Graceland--Charles Spencer
Hunger Games--Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire--Suzanne Collins
Maledicte--Lane Robbins
The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales--Oliver Sacks
Mockingjay--Suzanne Collins
Drink: A Cultural History of Alcohol--Iain McKelley
Fragile Eternity--Melissa Marr
The Magicians--Lev Grossman
I Like You: Hospitality under the Influence--Amy Sedaris
City of Glass--Cassandra Clare
Freedom and Neurobiology: Reflections on Free WIll, Language, and Political Power--John R. Searle
Bayou Moon--Ilona Andrews
White Noise--Don Delillo
Vampire Academy--Richelle Mead
Frostbite--Richelle Mead
Dreamtigers--Jorge Luis Borges
Squirrel seeks Chipmunk--David Sedaris
Shadow Kiss--Richelle Mead
Blood Promise--Richelle Mead
Shadow Dance--Robin Wayne Bailey
Warped--Maurissa Guibard
Anansi Boys--Neil Gaiman
River Marked--Patricia Briggs
The Oxford Handbook of Philosophy and Neuroscience--assorted authors
A World Without Time--Palle Yourgrau
Spirit Bound--Richelle Mead
Blue Bloods--Melissa De La Cruz
The Mind's I: Fantasies and Reflections on Self and Soul--Douglas R. Hoffstadter and Daniel C. Dennett
The Enchantress of Florence--Salman Rushdie
Masquerade--Melissa De La Cruz
Art In Three Dimensions--Noel Carroll
Paranormalcy--Kiersten White
Lamplighter--DM Cornish
Philosophy and Neuroscience--Bennett, Hacker, Dennett, Searle
Foundling--DM Cornish
Bossypants--Tina Fey
Divergent--Veronica Roth
I Am America(And So Can You!)--Stephen Colbert
Earth (the Book!)--Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Long for this world--Jonathan Weiner
Zombie Spaceship Wasteland--Patton Oswalt
The World In Six Songs--Daniel Levitan
Shit My Dad Says--Justin Halpern
The Moral Psychology Handbook--John M. Doris and the Moral Psychology Research Group
Spindle's End--Robin McKinley
Better--Atul Gawande
Darkfever--Karen Marie Moning
Pathfinder--Orson Scott Card
Bones of Faerie--Janni Lee Simner
Bonk--Mary Roach
Bloodfever--Karen Marie Moning
The Origin of Satan--Elaine Pagels
The Colour of Magic--Terry Pratchett
The Hob's Bargain--Patricia Briggs
Faefever--Karen Marie Moning
Infinite Jest--David Foster Wallace
Dreamfever--Karen Marie Moning
The Iceman Cometh--Eugene O'Neil
The Maze Runner--James Dashner
The Scorch Trials--James Dashner
The Poisoner's Handbook--Deborah Blum
Brave New World--Aldous Huxley
The Whale's Companion--edited by Adriana Klepac
Logicomix--Apostolos Doxiadis, Christos H. Papadimitriou, Alecos Papadatos, Annie Di Donna
The Witches of East End--Melissa de la Cruz
A Discovery of Witches--Deborah Harkness
Blood, Bones, and Butter: The Inadvertent Education of A Reluctant Chef--Gabrielle Hamilton
Huntress--Malinda Lo
Incarceron--Catherine Fisher
Basic Rights:Subsistence, Affluence, and US Foreign Policy--Henry Shue
A Visit From the Goon Squad--Jennifer Egan
Foundation--Mercedes Lackey
Intrigues--Mercedes Lackey
What is this thing called love--Kim Addonizio
Dearest Creature--Amy Gerstler
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Arr-Pee
Rules for RPing
The rules for RPing well are basically the same for theatre improvisation. They’re sketched below because I can’t sleep yet.
1.Say yes to what’s happening (not the same as your character agreeing).
Just like in improv., if you block the progress of the other characters, you drain the scene of its momentum. This kills a lot of scenes that could be good.
2.Add to the scene, move the story forward with every post rather than simply
passively responding.
It’s really frustrating when characters just react to what everyone else creates, rather than moving the scene forward. In improv, I believe this is the ‘yes, and—‘ rule. Don’t deny; and once you’ve done that, add your own bit. Posts shouldn’t be space fillers.
3.Be open to creating opportunities for your partners to shine.
I’ve found a lot of players are weirdly selfish about this. When they see two characters start to do something interesting together..they feel the need to rush in and make sure their character is involved, whether or not it makes sense for her to be there, and despite how the presence of the character deflates the scene. Sheesh, cut it out, people.
4.Don’t just ask questions. Add more to the world and what’s happening (don’t put all the pressure on others to expand the story).
Self explanatory, possibly redundant.
5.Tell a story, don’t just write a character sketch.
Plot is important; RPers focus on their characters, as in the kinds I play people usually add their character to a (sometimes just barely) established scenario. In spite of this—players should drive to expand the world around their characters. Why?
So there’s room for the characters to play out of this scene/scenario, which rarely is sketched out entirely in advance. I mean, who would want to roleplay a finite world where you already know what’s going to happen?
I dunno. This is a little pretentious. Tee hee?
The rules for RPing well are basically the same for theatre improvisation. They’re sketched below because I can’t sleep yet.
1.Say yes to what’s happening (not the same as your character agreeing).
Just like in improv., if you block the progress of the other characters, you drain the scene of its momentum. This kills a lot of scenes that could be good.
2.Add to the scene, move the story forward with every post rather than simply
passively responding.
It’s really frustrating when characters just react to what everyone else creates, rather than moving the scene forward. In improv, I believe this is the ‘yes, and—‘ rule. Don’t deny; and once you’ve done that, add your own bit. Posts shouldn’t be space fillers.
3.Be open to creating opportunities for your partners to shine.
I’ve found a lot of players are weirdly selfish about this. When they see two characters start to do something interesting together..they feel the need to rush in and make sure their character is involved, whether or not it makes sense for her to be there, and despite how the presence of the character deflates the scene. Sheesh, cut it out, people.
4.Don’t just ask questions. Add more to the world and what’s happening (don’t put all the pressure on others to expand the story).
Self explanatory, possibly redundant.
5.Tell a story, don’t just write a character sketch.
Plot is important; RPers focus on their characters, as in the kinds I play people usually add their character to a (sometimes just barely) established scenario. In spite of this—players should drive to expand the world around their characters. Why?
So there’s room for the characters to play out of this scene/scenario, which rarely is sketched out entirely in advance. I mean, who would want to roleplay a finite world where you already know what’s going to happen?
I dunno. This is a little pretentious. Tee hee?
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