There is no sex position or sex act which is inherently dominant, submissive, or neutral. None. The characterization of every single sex act depends on context, a context which comes from a person’s history and the relationship between them and their partner. This is where a number of feminists and BDSM enthusiasts have gone wrong, positioning some things (being the penetrative partner, receiving oral sex) as always dominant, and their complement as always submissive.

Wait, how can the missionary position be forceful? | No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz?

One of the most common biphobic narratives is that the penis is what counts. A woman who has sex with men is really straight, even if she also fucks women; a man who has sex with men is really gay, even if he also fucks women. If a man fucks a man, even once, he is forever corrupted from the heights of heterosexual masculinity.

Bisexual Men, Like, Exist And Stuff | No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz?

I am not kidding when I say that I find incredibly esoteric and specialized porn to be one of the most life-affirming things in the world. Even… no, especially the stuff that doesn’t do anything for me. Every giantess crush site, every furry vore gallery, every Shintaro Kago shit-and-dissection-fest, every body-inflation discussion group, every set of specialized apron-fetish films, every dendrophile fan club, every time I learn a new word like “boytaur” or “OT3″ or “docking” or “unbirth”… all these things bring me a genuine and unironic joy. These things, these kinks, these flights of imagination, are the impassioned obsessions of real people, everyday people. At least one of your coworkers, at least one of your family members. And that’s not creepy, that’s wonderful. Every one of those weird kinks is a shout of human individuality in a world that wants to reduce us down to buying patterns and demographic trends.

Why I Love Weird Porn | No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz?

What those trying to aggressively market an ever more “exotic sex life” fail to realize is that sexual preferences aren’t shaped by artifice. Buying a leather slapper won’t suddenly give you a penchant for spanking—and let’s face it, if you were really into the idea in the first place, you probably would have gone DIY and just picked up a hairbrush long before now. Making people feel shitty about their vanilla-ness is mainly a capitalist calculation. As any marketing exec knows, the moment people become satisfied is the moment they stop buying stuff.

"When travelling to rural Alaska I learnt that people there don’t lock their homes. When they’re away, especially in winter, they don’t just leave them unlocked, they prepare a fire ready to be lit in the hearth, and they stock the cupboards with food and water. I remember an Alaskan seeing my surprise at this and saying, “It’s not like where you live; we still need each other here.”

Perhaps this is why a stranger’s kindness resonates? In cities and suburbs, more so in affluent countries, day-to-day survival isn’t an issue any more (even if it doesn’t always feel like that). We don’t physically need one another in order to live now. And without needing one another, we’re not properly connected. Where would the sense of connection come from?

Alaska made me realise we lost meaning once our survival was secured. The struggle for survival is the meaning, and if your survival’s even moderately in question, that ties you to others around you – it forces you to team up with them, depend on them, serve them. Real or imagined danger connects people, and our connection to others is scientifically proven to be the pinnacle of experience."

Good advice I got: prioritize self-care. Get your love and your groove on.

Resolutions Update: I didn't lose 20 pounds for my wedding. But I lost 12, so that's damn well close enough.
Past the halfway mark to 60 books:

Books Read 2012 (Goal: 60) So far: 34
The Oathbound--Mercedes Lackey
Oathbreakers--Mercedes Lackey
Oathblood--Mercedes Lackey
The Last Werewolf--Glen Duncan
Collected Poems--Philip Larkin
Blueprints for Building Better Girls--Elissa Schappell
The Scorpio Races--Maggie Stiefvater
The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer--Michelle Hodkin
Kraken--China Mieville
The Silver Metal Lover--Tanith Lee
 Outlander--Diana Gabaldon
Firelight--Sophie Jordan
Moral Relativism and Moral Objectivity--Harman and Thomson
How to Read a Poem--Molly Peacock
Vanish--Sophie Jordan
The Closing of the American Mind--Allan Bloom
The Public and Its Problems--John Dewey
Ship Of Magic--Robin Hobb
Jean-Jacques Rousseau: A Friend of Virtue--Joseph R. Reisert
Rousseau and Desire--Blackell, Duncan, Kow
The Immortal Prince--Jennifer Fallon
Rousseau: Nature and the Problem of the Good Life--Laurence D. Cooper
John Dewey and Self-Realization--Robert J. Roth
John Dewey and the Artful Life: Pragmatism, Aesthetics and Morality--Scott R Stroud
Starcrossed--Josephine Angelini
Bounty--Harper Alexander
Grimspace--Ann Aguirre
Cry Wolf--Patricia Briggs
How to Be Richer, Smarter, and Better-Looking Than Your Parents--Zac Bissonnette
Mistborn--Brandon Sanderson
Natural Goodness--Philippa Foot
On Virtue Ethics--Rosalind Hursthouse
Noncognitivism in Ethics--Mark Schroeder
Skios--Michael Frayn

Currently reading: The Philosopher's Handbook (Rosen), Foundations of Ethics:An Anthology (editted by Schafer-Landau and Cuneo) and Death In Venice (Mann).

Piano: Done Nothing
Projects: Done Nothing
Philosophically worthwhile: We'll see how this current project goes. It started out with what I thought was an actual, unique idea in metaethics--but it may be total shit.
Friendships: Who the fuck can tell. I've been trying. I'm discouraged. Everyone is so self involved, I don't really think they see me most of the time, or put any effort into doing so. My new friendships are blooming wonderfully (hey hey!).

Were there others?