worried

We're so familiar with written language that we sometimes forget how outlandish a concept it must have seemed to our ancestors. Writing allowed people to copy and transfer their thoughts and their tribal codes of conduct to others, even unto generations they themselves would not live to personally instruct, affect or control. The words themselves must have seemed alive and immortal and as "holy" as ghosts. Written law was thus a way of mastering time and influencing the future, a weapon greater than fire and steel, I hope you'll agree. When read, the written word made the head buzz and ring and fill up with voices and commands from nowhere, as if God Himself had come thundering down through the symbols, off the page and into the room, fertilising and impregnating the mind with his Ghostly, unmistakable presence.

-Grant Morrison

The text you write must prove to me that it desires me. This proof exists: it is writing. Writing is: the science of the various blisses of language... (this science has but one treatise: writing itself).

-Roland Barthes

something needs to be done

My grandma cried today at lunch when it was time for her to leave and return to her shitstain of a husband (divorce proceedings still up in the air).

...

Rarely felt so impotent. Someone in my family, someone I actually -like-, in real distress...and I don't know how to help. I argued, I begged, for her to just stay with me for awhile, but she feels some sort of obligation to that house. She's so passive! Rouses all my protective instincts, and this for the woman who held me and cared for me when I was an infant, when my parents were away.

Something needs to be done. Contemplating murder.

Fuck. Yeah.

I rarely have a comeback on demand, so I felt vindicated.

I'm pretty sure this one guy in my office was a bully in high school. Today he intercepted me on my way back from the refrigerator, pointed at the can of iced coffee I'd brought from home, and told me to let him have it.

I blinked, asked how could he possibly think I'd say yes to that, and walked to my desk.

...Bitch.

(Maybe you had to be there)

January 5th, 2011

Saw a homeless man fall down and injure himself semi-severely in Borders today.
Stopped and ran over to help, along with others.
Called 911, stayed to wait for paramedics, thus was late coming back to work.
Was yelled at, then given more expense reports.
I cannot imagine anything I care less about.

new year's

Uwaa, hosting big parties is hard.

New year's resolutions--obvious, this year, so no use saying them.

Also, start playing the piano again. No excuse not to, now that I have "Beautiful Maladies."

This room needs more cleaning...